Must Be At Least This Dumb To Ride

This evening I was working on the “20 Items or Less” lanes with another cashier when one of my superiors wanted me to collect the garbage from all the registers. I temporarily closed my lane and easily finished my task within a few minutes. As I was tying up the large bag of trash in preparation to dispose of it down the garbage chute in the back of the store, the lone cashier called for me to help them with the line of customers that had formed in my absence.

Cutting Corners

Surely there’s more fun stories and daily adventures to be told in a written-format, but it’s far easier to draw up and post these graphics into my blog entry. If something happens that demands dry and sarcastic narration, I’ll be sure to take the appropriate action. Until then…

Here’s One For You. And Another One. And Another One.

Though the data I provide is presented in an intentionally humorous fashion, the best part is that it’s not too far from the truth.

A Typical Friday

I could tell you of my wonderful day dealing with elderly people for five hours, but I think this data should speak for itself:

Power of Observation

When a popular take-and-bake pizza place moved to a different location after their lease expired, the space they rented was still property of the store. So for the past few months, the store’s been putting merchandise in this area, which might as well be another department to the store.

I thought this trend would cease only a few weeks after the pizza place moved out, but I was horribly wrong; in fact, at four separate times during my short shift today–this happens every weekend if you’re on the right registers–it was proven to me that not many people have a very good power of observation.

Wha-wha-wha???

I’m at the hospital for my weekly shots, when I overhear quite frankly one of the dumbest things a parent has said to their child. For some reason, I think they’re going to McDonalds for lunch.

Making Sense of Workplace Decisions

As much as I wish to dissociate myself from my place of employment on my days off, I feel it is necessary to continue telling and teaching the world all the things I have seen.

I Guess That Makes Two of You Then

For the duration of my shift today, I was operating the self-service checkouts. I’ve been working these “Self Checks” so long, it’s gotten downright boring for me, as every minute presents me with the same cycle of customers.

The customers who use the “Self Checks” fall into three general categories, each of these having its own subset of descriptions. To get the gist of what you can expect when working the Self Checks, here’s a quick overview of the people you’ll see:

Scoot Over!

There’s this conflict of emotion whenever I see a horrendously overweight person riding one of those motorized wheelchairs at the store. While I pity the man or woman who needs a cart just to haul their massive frame so they can enjoy the luxury of shopping on their own, I have to laugh at how miserable this country must be getting if some of its citizens, whether their obesity is genetic or otherwise, need devices such as these just to function in society.

Staring contest? I think not!

This takes place in a quiet Emergency Room Waiting Room, around 2 AM. As I walk back from getting my lunch, I see a lonely man in a wheelchair by the door. As I get near, I noticed him from somewhere: I had dealt with him weeks before, only that time, he was going nuts thinking everyone was the devil and I was sent to kill him. The second he recognizes me, his face changes, like a hurricane moving through New Orleans. I walk back to my office, and sure enough, still staring. This ordeal continues for the 23 minutes he’s waiting for a cab. The funny part? He falls out of his wheelchair after he hit that wall attempting to stare at me until I was out of sight.